Crumpled

Much of my family is Mormon. I'm not.

My father left that chuch around age fourteen after "figuring out that it was bull shit." Although all of his family was Mormon, he managed not to withdraw himself from the family.

Mormons are dedicated to one useful thing that I can think of; Geneology. They would like to trace every family tree and link them all together and point us like a cone directly to Adam and Eve. They have been working on this for quite some time, and assign each inductee to complete a piece of the puzzle.

In my case, if I were to be sucked into this church, I would have nothing to tell them about my family tree that they don't already know well. So I am in the fortunate position to have a well logged family tree, but I'm not willing to suffer missionarys and the like in order to get access to this data, so it's always been "I'll find out someday."

I recently came across, in some of my dads old things that were in my brother JoeChef's house, a handout from an old family reunion, which traces a direct line to me through my Grandfather. Until you get to my grandfather's parents, it traces down through the male decendents, for about 12 more Generations.

I want to paste what other people have "discovered" about these people, but first I want to add a two part disclaimer.

1. You can't rely on a religious organisation to provide you with untainted information, they are on the planet to co-opt and create ideas and images that advance thier agenda of world domination.

2. A geneology project that has the goal of tracing everybody to two people who were made up, is going to eventually require a bit of "fudging."

And a counter-disclaimer:
I trust that the information after 1800 (around the founding of the church) is probably completely accurate, and the information before that is at least new enough to keep away from the fudging threshold of Adam/Eve.

without further ado, I give you the part of my family history that really blew my mind.

The Bryan Family:
I lifted this historical account from another family website "carsonjohnson dot com" these are the parts that they have too, and I'll pick up where thier family branches off. my notes in red, and the links I added. and some inapplicable info has been deleted.

Thomas Bryan I, son of William de Bryan and Joan FitzAlan, was born in 1358 in Cheddington, Buckinghamshire, England. In 1387, he married Margaret Echyngham , who was born in Bennington, Yorkshire, England, in 1358, and Edmund Bryan was their son. Thomas Bryan I died in 1444.

Edmund Bryan was born in 1412 in Cheddington, Buckinghamshire, England. About 1437, he married Alice De Bures , born about 1416 in England, heiress of Sir Robert de Bures. Thomas Bryan II was their son.

Sir Thomas Bryan II was born about 1438 in Cheddington, Buckinghamshire, England. He married Lady Margaret Bowsey (born about 1418 in England, daughter of Josh Bowsey and Margaret Barnes ) about 1463, and Thomas Bryan III was their son. Sir Thomas Bryan II served as Chief Justice of the Court of Common Pleas from 1471 until his death about 1500. Some say he died after 1508. This person is listed on my family handout as Sir Thomas Bryan the First. There is a discrepancy between the two accounts as to the Numerals. I trust thier account more than ours, as they discovered people further back, and have the dates more precisely. My great grandfather x 13 on my great-grandmother's side.

Sir Thomas Bryan III, son of Thomas Bryan II and Lady Margaret Bowsey, was born about 1464 in Cheddington, Buckinghamshire, England. He married Lady Margaret Bourchier, and Francis Bryan and Lady Elizabeth Bryan were their children. Thomas Bryan III was knighted by Henry VII in 1497, and he died in 1517. Warm-hearted Lady Margaret Bourchier was governess for Princess Mary, and after the death of Anne Boleyn , Lady Margaret Bourchier was made foster mother to Princess Elizabeth . When Prince Edward was born, Lady Margaret transferred to his household. Lady Margaret Bourchier died in 1551 or 1552.

Sir Francis Bryan, first surviving son of Thomas Bryan III and Lady Margaret Bourchier, was born in 1490 in Cheddington, Buckinghamshire, England. He was educated at Oxford and was a personal friend of King Henry VIII , for whom he performed important missions and personal services. He spoke to the king in “plain speech.” In April, 1513, he received his first official appointment – captain of the ship Margaret Bonavanture. Before March, 1522, he married first Phillippa Montgomery , and Sir Edward Bryan was their son.
Francis Bryan was something of a poet. He was also a “cipherer”, or code expert, and he also enjoyed jousting. He lost an eye in one of the matches, and wore an eye patch for the rest of his life. He was a supporter of Ann Boleyn, and was accused of complicity in her misdeeds. For this, and for his capacity for immorality, Francis Bryan was dubbed “The Vicar of Hell” by Thomas Cromwell in 1536, but Cromwell couldn’t prove any charges against Francis Bryan, so Francis Bryan was able to regain favor with Cromwell.
Francis Bryan married second Lady Joan Fitzgerald before August 28, 1548. This was a political marriage, probably arranged to prevent Lady Joan’s marriage to the heir of Desmond, Gerald Fitzgerald. (Such a marriage would have united the leading representatives of the two chief Irish noble houses.) Shortly after this marriage, he was named Lord Marshal (Governor General) of Ireland in 1548, and sent to Dublin. In 1549, he was made Lord Chief Justice of Ireland, and he held large estates in County Clare, which the crown had given him upon the dissolution of the monasteries.
Francis Bryan died February 2, 1549 or 1550, in Clonmel, Ireland. After Francis Bryan’s death, Lady Joan Fitzgerald did marry (in 1551) Gerald FitzJames FitzGerald. Some think that Lady Joan Fitzgerald poisoned Francis Bryan.

Sir Francis Bryan II was the son of Francis Bryan and Lady Joan Fitzgerald. (Some researchers say that Francis Bryan died without issue.) Francis Bryan II was born in Claire, Ireland, in 1549. In 1580, he married Ann Smith , who was born in 1560 in Claire, Ireland, the daughter of Sir William Smith .

William Smith Bryan was their son.
Exiled to Virginia – The First to Bring Horses (yeah, sure)

William Smith Bryan was born about 1590 (or in 1600). He married Catherine Morgan (born 1604). William Smith Bryan and Catherine Morgan were both born in Claire, Ireland. During the Puritan Rebellion, William Smith Bryan attempted to gain the throne of Ireland and was dubbed, “Prince William of Ireland” by his followers. Sometime about 1650 or 1660, William Smith Bryan and Catherine Morgan were exiled to Virginia by Oliver Cromwell for anti-English insurgent activities, and they arrived in Virginia with a shipload of personal belongings and eleven sons and three daughters. They were among the first English to bring horses to the British colony of Virginia. William Smith Bryan and Catherine Morgan both died in Gloucester, Virginia.

Francis Bryan III , eldest son of William Smith Bryan and Catherine Morgan, was born about 1630. He returned to Ireland and tried to regain the Clare County estates, but was persecuted by the government and forced to seek refuge in Denmark. He married Sarah Brinker , and became an ancestor(vauge relationship definition) of Rebecca Bryan who married Daniel Boone (my great great great great great great great grandfather's (grand?)son-in-law?? hmm.) . Francis Bryan III returned to Ireland about 1683, and died in Belfast.

And that's the end of thier record, continuing on with my family hand out:

Morgan Bryan (1671-1763)
Joseph Bryan (1720-1805)
John Bryan (1710-1815)
Charles Hinkle Bryan (1807-1885)
William Andrew Cazier Bryan (1849-1948)
Lula Elizabeth Bryan (1872-1940) a female! and mother of the oldest male at the time of the handout, which I guess is why we branch into the Bryans in the handout, rather than, say, my mom's family. You really get to trace your favorite line, I guess this was theirs.
Justin Bryan Call (1894- 198?)
Richard Bryan Call (1929 - 1998)
Richard Bryan Call II (1980 - 2980) me!

I might talk about these people later, some of them are also historically significant. (esp for mormons)

I might also talk about the Calls. But I mostly like the pre-mormon legacy that I can lay claim to part of.

that's all for now.