alone but not lonely

I look around me in my life and I see that I am surrounded by people who do not consider themselves social. That is, I am part of a group of loners. It sounds contradictory but it is not. There is no experience more bonding than that of not being able to fit it. Anyone who has enjoyed a Tim Burton movie knows that.

That is probably why on the balance, I enjoyed "The Loner's Manifesto" despite it's numerous tics and annoyances. The author, Anneli Rufus, is part of my little community.

I say on the balance, because this book has several flaws. The most prominent is Rufus's relentless advocacy. Surrounded by anti-social friends I know well that they can be difficult people to care about. Rufus must know this too, and this book could have used a sympathetic chapter on dealing with a loner for the nonloner.

Rufus, though, is singlemindedly focused on raising the esteem and image of the loner. This is a worthy effort, but I'm afraid that this loner feels like the last thing the world wants or needs as another hypersensitive advocacy group. Rufus seems as though she would, as a good portion of the book is spent on getting offended at the use of the word loner as a pejorative or reflexively to describe serial killers (even though many serial killers are actually quite social).

At times, Rufus gives off the impression that she has done a google news search for the word, "loner" and simply quoted every negative connotation she could find.

Society is afraid of loners. Probably for the simple reason that if one is into perverted, shameful and evil things than one is likely to drive away friends. Rufus is out to defend the willful loner someone who just doesn't always like company. But I find myself not blaming society all that much? How are they to tell the difference.

That's why it's important for loners, especially for loners, to have social skills. It takes a lot to turn down a dinner invitation without angering someone. Loners without social skills are almost always a big, helpless pain in the ass for everyone who cares for them.

That's another reason I can't quite buy into Rufus's relentless advocacy. I know I can be a pain, and I know that other loner's can be a pain. I can't quite come to get upset with nonloners for their impatience.

A better book, one that I wish Rufus had written would have tried harder to bridge this gap. It would contain useful advice on getting along society as well as being helpful to understanding the asocial.

beijing subway is safe

no oil cans! no explosions! no skulls! no chemistry sets! oh yeah and no guns.

axis of crap

Quick, think of the worst thing possible.

Is this it?

If not, jesus, why?

"baby got back,"I didn't miss you until you were gone

It may sound like Lao Wei complain a lot about the missing comforts of home. It sounds that way because we do.

But do not mistake that, because I think most of us love it in China. Not only that but absence does work up a fine appreciation for some of the things back in the developed world.

To quote the girl, "I never knew a hamburger could make me happy for an entire night."

What I'm getting at is that I recently took a trip to Beijing. Actually it was more like a four day orgy of food, booze and destruction.

Yeah. These are a few of my favorite things:
thai food
cheap whiskey in about any form desired (except Maker's Mark, damnit!)
absinth
dancing to Anglophone hip hop and electroclash
no bouncy dancefloors
sourdough bread
cheeseburger (not a breakfast sausage patty in a bun)
cheesecake
cheese (noticing a theme?)
a fair attempt at pizza
decent cd shopping (Grandaddy, Sonic Youth and the Rapture)
guiness
qingdao black
dim sum
duck sandwich with big thick french fries cooked properly
good coffee every day
real diner breakfast