I look around me in my life and I see that I am surrounded by people who do not consider themselves social. That is, I am part of a group of loners. It sounds contradictory but it is not. There is no experience more bonding than that of not being able to fit it. Anyone who has enjoyed a Tim Burton movie knows that.
That is probably why on the balance, I enjoyed "The Loner's Manifesto" despite it's numerous tics and annoyances. The author, Anneli Rufus, is part of my little community.
I say on the balance, because this book has several flaws. The most prominent is Rufus's relentless advocacy. Surrounded by anti-social friends I know well that they can be difficult people to care about. Rufus must know this too, and this book could have used a sympathetic chapter on dealing with a loner for the nonloner.
Rufus, though, is singlemindedly focused on raising the esteem and image of the loner. This is a worthy effort, but I'm afraid that this loner feels like the last thing the world wants or needs as another hypersensitive advocacy group. Rufus seems as though she would, as a good portion of the book is spent on getting offended at the use of the word loner as a pejorative or reflexively to describe serial killers (even though many serial killers are actually quite social).
At times, Rufus gives off the impression that she has done a google news search for the word, "loner" and simply quoted every negative connotation she could find.
Society is afraid of loners. Probably for the simple reason that if one is into perverted, shameful and evil things than one is likely to drive away friends. Rufus is out to defend the willful loner someone who just doesn't always like company. But I find myself not blaming society all that much? How are they to tell the difference.
That's why it's important for loners, especially for loners, to have social skills. It takes a lot to turn down a dinner invitation without angering someone. Loners without social skills are almost always a big, helpless pain in the ass for everyone who cares for them.
That's another reason I can't quite buy into Rufus's relentless advocacy. I know I can be a pain, and I know that other loner's can be a pain. I can't quite come to get upset with nonloners for their impatience.
A better book, one that I wish Rufus had written would have tried harder to bridge this gap. It would contain useful advice on getting along society as well as being helpful to understanding the asocial.