I don't really like weddings.
Weddings are parties without fun; they are all stress and uncomfortable small talk with strangers and near-strangers. I usually attend weddings for the same reasons that I attend funerals. I go to offer emotional support, not because I really want to.
Largely my opinion of weddings was captured by something brilliant that Nick St. John once said to me:
Going to a wedding involves travelling a long distance to see someone do something stupid and self-destructive. Instead of getting married I'm going to make everyone go to Phoenix to watch me hit myself in the face with a brick.
There have been a few exceptions. My friends John and Dani had a very pleasant wedding in their backyard, marred only by the prickly officient, and SlackBastard's strawberry and rum flavored vomit.
This weekend two more of my best friends got married. (Actually, they had already been married, they just had a ceremony of sorts, more on that later). Once again, I actually had a good time. I think that this fact has something to do with the minimal amount of organization and money spent on it. The equation that describes the amount of controllable wedding stress loks like this:
f(wedding stress)= f(money, time, involvement of the Catholic Church)
There is a certain amount of uncontrollable wedding stress, freaking out parents, feuding bridesmaids, emotionally irresponsible hook-ups, foolish behavior by the groomsmen and me dancing are either going to happen or not and there isn't anything to be done about it.
This wedding had jitters and chaos, too. But food and two bottles of Jameson helped smooth most everything over.
As I said earlier, the couple had eloped more than a year ago, and this wedding was more like a coming out party for their marriage. When I first learned of their marriage I, like many, shook my head and pronounced them crazy. I don't apologize for this, exactly. I think, at the time it was a reasonable reaction, and I believe they understand that.
Over the months though, things have changed. To say I have accepted their union is unjust. I enjoy being around them, I have fun with them and they help me be happy in my life. They are a pretty great couple, a fun couple. I loved being involved in their wedding.
Richard and Thalisha, I am happy, very happy for you. Your wedding rocked.
Like Hindus, cars die and die again.
But sometimes they are touched by Yama Dharma and are kicked out of the dream life forever. This is the real death.
My car has died the real death. A faulty fuel pump has recked a nasty havoc upon the engine, turning an ugly but serviceable car into just an ugly one. The messenger that will bear it to a better place is WEAVE.
"What's WEAVE?" asks Tom.
"Women Escaping a Violent Environment." I say after a moment to make sure all the letters matched up with all the words.
"You aren't giving them a very good getaway car."
This is funny.
"They're just going to think that they can get away from their abusive husbands and it isn't going to start."
Maybe I should donate my BART card too. Just in case.
Some Backgrounds.
Emotional: Kylee has broken up with a long, long term boyfriend. She's going through that troubled post break up period where the idea of other boys sounds really good, but she can't quite stick with any of them. She is distraught, but I think not so much at the loss of a not so serious relationship.
Temporal: This takes place immediately after Kylee's second failed attempt to have a boyfriend after the long term relationship.
Spatial: On the futon in front of what is known as the great computer orgy/ area where we set our drinks.
Scene: Tom is already seated on the futon. Kylee sits down next to him; not too close but in the area. Tom proceeds to scoot over about six inches , and blurt out "Don't you pull any of your rebound crap on me."
Thank you for listening to my little story.
TomAbuse has been updated, due to a conversation in the Target parking lot.
There are lots of good exchanges that don't go on the page because they don't work much out of context. A lot of the out of context stuff does get funnier with context but I want it to stand alone in theme with the page. For instance, it's pretty funny to know that Tom was groping Thalisha's shoulder while they were waltzing when he said the word "scaaaapula" but I think it's pretty funny to know that somewhere there's a guy saying that word with a lot of emphasis on the middle syllable, whatever his reasons.
I've been tempted to start a segue page, full of excerpts of longer conversations I've had or participated in, in this house.